Me too!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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