lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
