Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
