she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
