he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
