Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
