The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
