Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
