I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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