If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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