We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
