He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize