He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
