Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
