I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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