You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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