laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
