don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize