you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
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Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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