Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
