you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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