Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
