You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
