dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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