doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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