i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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