Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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