She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
