Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
