I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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