...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
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He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
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I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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