dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize