and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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