Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Too much gin, very little bucket
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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