i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
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