She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
