Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
50% drunk capacity currently
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
