At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
