Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
