This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
