im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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