You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
