I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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