mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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