i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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