Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
