I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
