If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
