i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
