Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize