you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
