thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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