I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
