I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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