He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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