I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They have beer where we have blood.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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