he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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