You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
