I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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