If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
where does the pee come out of this thing
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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