i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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