Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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