I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
