I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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