This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
