You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
