that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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