clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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