I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
