So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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