The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
